Success in Marriage

In my attempt to describe a successful marriage, I realize that my 11 years of married life is inadequate to qualify to teach marriage in fact I think my grandparents who have had more than 55 years of marriage also can't really describe a successful marriage. We can never come to a point and say that we know it all or have mastered the art of successful marriage because we face challenges and limitations in one or the other area of our life every day.

Marriage is a very personal thing, there are certain universal principles that we could incorporate in our lives but each couple have their own version of success in marriage. What is success for me may or may not be success for you because all of us come from different family background, culture, personality and circumstances.

I have chosen to put together few things that I practice and hope to fully evolve in my marriage and family, not necessarily the order I have written.

1. We like to be presentable, clean and attractive for each other when we see each other at the end of hard day's work or at any time.

2. We like to keep our house clean and livable. We try to create an atmosphere where we feel love and comfort, a place where we can call our home and look forward to come to.

3. We try to be considerate to each other's needs. We share authority of the remote according to the importance of the day's TV program schedule. We share household chores, respect and appreciate each other, pamper, massage and spend quality time together.

4. We try to be considerate and make choices that are neutral and agreeable with both of us for example, the kind of food we cook, fragrance, color schemes, furniture, music, where we live, where we work, what we wear etc.

5. I am agreeable to Alex making the decisions at home and about our lives. We do discuss, argue positively and brainstorm those decisions in private so we can get other perspectives and ideas. Alex usually has the say and I submit to his decisions whether it is wise or not. Alex does the same with some of the decisions I make. Both of us are mentally prepared for all outcomes.

6. We share information about our investments, priorities, schedule, contacts, preferences, needs, pleasures, health and basically everything that the spouse needs to be aware of.

7. We also maintain a book where we write down all the information like contacts, emails, phone numbers, lawyer, investment broker, doctor, personal email addresses and passwords, bank info, bill payments, financial investments, purchase details, life insurance policy, medical policies, car and house insurances.

8. We have also discussed about our lives if one of us have to die first. We talked about all possibilities and all areas from funeral arrangements to children, family, movable and immovable properties, re marriage, work and ministry.

9. We take time to communicate with each other and plan on two vacations a year - one just the two of us and the other with family. We usually take time off each year for our wedding anniversary and our family vacation is during any long holidays (We are yet to regularise our family vacations!). Our vacation time is the time we usually discuss our expectations, dreams, plans, frustrations and disappointments and commit to make the following year better and beautiful. We try to be part of family events. We keep our families updated about our lives and take time to have fun, get together and picnics etc.

10. We try to maintain certain order of priorities in our life - God, spouse, children, parents, work/ministry, siblings and then everything else.

These are some important things I can think of at this moment and I know this subject is inexhaustible. May God continue to shower His grace, favor and blessing in our marriage and our home.